She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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