So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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