Is it because I queefed?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
