Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
