I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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