i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Terrible idea I love it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize