I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
