So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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