So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
