I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
