so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
