I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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