Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
