Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
