you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
