Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
