Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
