Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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