found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
