I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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