Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
FUCK WHALES
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
