Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
where does the pee come out of this thing
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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