I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
