It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
