what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
