Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
