I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
