I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
