it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
