then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you are never too drunk for berry picking
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
