So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
