this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
