he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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