I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
