I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
