i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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