He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if only i could text you this smell
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
