I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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