I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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