I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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