That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
