I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
