I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
