We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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