i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
