I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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