WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
