Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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