tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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