yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am midnight drunk by noon
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
