currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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